So I left my twenties for good a couple of years ago and boy was I glad to see the back of those ratchet AF days!!
I meaaannn what the actual hell was that decade even about?! The highs, the lows and everything in between.
Whilst they can contain some of your most fun years, your twenties are without a doubt the biggest rollercoaster on your emotional wellbeing for sure!
Because you feel like you’re kinda grown; you’ve left school, perhaps gone to Uni or moved out, started making your own paper and got some responsibilities.
But at the same time, you’re not 100% sure how to boil an egg, have no idea what’s going on with your pension and still rely on your old girl to do your washing!
Aside from the practical things, there are also tons of life lessons that you discover during that timeframe that help you to get a better understanding of what is life, and how to evolve into the next phase stronger and wiser!
I feel like in your 20’s, you need a ‘big sister’; whether that be an actual big sister or just someone close to you to help you navigate those turbulent years!
Someone who will give you really good advice, wipe away your tears when you no doubt fuck up and help you get back on track to become your best damn self!
Well, guess what ladies, you are in LUCK because I am here today to give you my best pieces of advice that I wish I’d had in my armour back then!
So let’s get to it, here are the life lessons I wish I knew in my 20’s:
Stop spending money you don’t have to impress people you don’t know!
Probably one of my favourite quotes and the biggest life lesson I ever did learn…albeit a little too late 🙊 oops!
I grew up around people who were all about the designer labels. I mean, kids would wear Ben Sherman shirts, Moschino jeans and Patrick Cox loafers to school – now if that doesn’t SCREAM 90’s boujee fashion, I don’t know what does!
But it was everywhere, and I truly think it played a massive part in my money story as I grew up. I used to believe that I needed to have expensive things for people to treat me a certain way. I guess I didn’t want people to think I was poor, even though I was putting a lot of my designer stuff on the credit card so effectively, the money wasn’t even mine in the first place!
I was literally putting myself into debt so that strangers thought good of me. Now…just think about this for a second. Do you remember the last stranger you walked past today? How about yesterday? Do you remember what you thought about them?! EXACTLY! So spend your money for YOU – forget about anyone else!
Your weight does not define you!
Trust me when I say, it is going to go up and down for LIFE! I spent all of my teens and most of my 20’s a consistent size 6/8, around 9 stone and able to literally eat whatever the hell I wanted!
And then I turned like 26 and things started to change! My figure has progressively changed and my weight has continually increased ever since and I’m over trying to second guess it now!
But we’re oh so conscious of our bodies during our twenties and we let it take over the entire narrative sometimes when it’s such a small part of who we are. Like how would you describe your best friend? Would her weight be in that description? No!
As long as you are healthy and comfortable, focus on the more important things. But also, learn to dress for your shape. I have big thighs and knees but a small waist so I accentuate my figure by wearing a certain style of clothing. This helps me feel a lot more comfortable and get on with the bigger things in life so that my weight or body shape isn’t constantly on my mind holding me back.
Other peoples opinions of you are NOT your problem!
This kinda leads on nicely actually because, a lot of what concerns us, is actually nothing to do with ‘us’. We stress and we get down on ourselves because we are worrying about what other people think about us or what they think about what we’re doing.
But it’s worth bearing in mind, that what someone else thinks of you, shouldn’t be on your radar. Peoples opinions are formed and based on their own perspective. So for example, if someone is judging your figure, it’s not because there’s something ‘wrong’ with your figure, it’s because their thoughts on what defines a good or bad figure has caused them to form an opinion; whatever that may be (side note: we always assume it’s the worst when we have NO idea!).
Another example would be if someone judges your choice of career. That’s based on their own train of thought of what would be right for THEM; not you.
Essentially, what I’m trying to say is that people’s opinions have a hell of a lot more to do with their lives and their experiences than it has to do with you at all. As the saying goes, ‘opinions are like arseholes…everyone’s got one’! So stop letting them be your problem!
Don’t stress yourself out deciding on a perfect career!
Hi, I’m Char! I’m 32 and still have NO idea what I want to do when I grow up!! 🙋🏽♀️
And that’s OK because we don’t need to have it all figured out! In an ideal world, yes, we’d have a good idea of what we were going to do from a professional perspective. But we also don’t know all of the options out there most of the time which makes choosing something and sticking to it all the more difficult!
After working full time for (gulp) 18 years already, I have a pretty good understanding of my strengths and what I enjoy, but giving that a job title….not as easy!
My advice is just to do what feels right. If you’re in a job that may not set your soul on fire but you enjoy and you’re happy, stick with it! If you’re unhappy and not sure on your next move, take time to establish what you want from a role, what you’re good at and what you enjoy then use to start searching for companies, roles or industries that align. It will probably take time to piece it all together but once you have your foundation, you’ll have something to build upon.
Stop comparing yourself to strangers on the internet!
We’re all guilty of it, right? We see that girl always enjoying the finer things in life, has an abundance of time to herself and just seems to basically spend her days taking pics for the gram of her oh-so-fabulous life 😒. Ugh – I get it.
But we don’t know the backstory. Remember the internet isn’t real life, it’s the ‘reel life’. No one’s posting their failures. People aren’t out here showing the bad, only what ‘looks’ good!
A lot of the time, people have grafted to get what they have. Whilst they may look like an overnight success, that rarely is the case. Just because they’re in their early twenties, doesn’t mean they haven’t put the work in also. It just means they jumped on their own wave early doors and managed to take advantage perhaps quicker than some others.
But everyone is out here on their own path. There’s no rule book that says life has to be lived in a particular order so just because you’re at one stage and they’re at another, doesn’t mean one person is ahead.
I know I often struggle with feeling like I should have a lot more of my shit together right now because I’m still single, have no kids, salaries good but not where I would have expected it to be after all these years working and so on. And then I think, but I’m a homeowner, I have a nice car, I’ve travelled to some cool places and these are all things that other people may look at me for and think ‘I wish I had that’ or ‘She’s so lucky to live like that’ whilst I’m out here thinking the exact same about someone else!
So we all just need to stay in our lane, and when we see someone living the lifestyle we desire or has the things we want, just think if ‘she can make it happen then so can I’, because girl, ain’t nobody out here with no god damn superpowers so it is 100% achievable to you too!
I also wrote a blog post about how to improve your social media experience which you can check out if this resonates.
So look, these are just a few of the life lessons I wanted to share with you guys to hopefully help you put a bit of perspective on a few of the day to day struggles we come across.
We all have so many things we discover every day though so please do share some of your own life lessons below or pop me a message if you’d prefer as I’d love to hear them!
Until next time people, keep it real ✌🏽 x